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How to support a friend in their gipit era (without ruining the friendship)

Updated: Jun 6

Tip #3: No strings attached ka na dapat ‘pag pinahiram mo na yung pera mo.

How to help someone who's struggling financially (without ruining the friendship)

None of us want to have the reputation of being that friend na “nauutangan”. Yes, it’s a great feeling to help a loved one in need because the urge to help is natural. However, helping someone struggling financially, especially who's close to us, is easier said than done.

So kung may friend kang medyo nasa gipit season sa life, here’s how to offer genuine support without putting your finances or the friendship at risk:

Step back and assess: it’s not about you.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the worry by projecting our own anxieties onto the situation. Remember, it’s about offering support to your friend without sugarcoating it. Kung magpapautang ka, ‘wag kang mahiyang i-open up din ang financial situation mo. This honesty sets clear boundaries and prevents resentment if they can’t pay you back.

Only give what you can comfortably lose.

Never give more than you’d be comfortable never seeing again. May mga boundaries din dapat tayo pagdating sa friendships natin. Money is an emotionally charged subject so dapat tandaan mo na you’re just offering help, not solving all their problems.

Don’t expect to get your money back.

Para na rin sa sanity mo ‘to. As mentioned above, you’re offering your friend help, not an investment. This mindset frees you from the burden of tracking their utang and them from the pressure of paying it back.

Don’t judge how they use your help.

Financial struggles can be deeply personal. ‘Pag nagpautang ka na, it’s no longer up to you how they choose to spend it. May kanya-kanya tayong trip kung paano natin lulusutan ang mga pinagdadaanan natin. Trust that they’ll use it for what they need most, and avoid making them feel ashamed about their situation.

No matter what happens, choose to be kind.

Real talk saglit: ‘di lahat ng problema nasosolusyunan ng pera. Yes, money is important, but true friendship is priceless. There might be moments your friend is frustrated or lashes out, but it’s likely due to the situation, not you. A supportive DM, a fun movie night, or simply reminding them they’re not alone can make a difference, kahit sandali lang. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can offer is simply being there.

Marami talagang struggling sa life ngayon. Once you judge your friend, expect them to already be on the defense about their money habits. That’s why times like these call for exceptional acts of kindness — be a source of support, not a know-it-all.

Buhay nila ‘yan so it’s best to detach yourself from their situation and be a supportive sounding board instead of being their financial critic.

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